


Maybe it's not a curse at all

by Rebel_Kings



Category: Lady Midnight, Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Cannon Verse, Demons, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Future Fic, Los Angeles institute, Post-The Dark Artifices Series, Shadow!verse, Shadowhunters - Freeform, parabati bond, post - lady midnight
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-05-28 11:14:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6326806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rebel_Kings/pseuds/Rebel_Kings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after lady midnight so spoilers - </p><p>Julian and Emma have to work through their awkwardness after Emma rejected Julian, however that rejection might not last long and Mark may find himself out of the picture rather soon, assuming that Emma can figure out this parabatai curse she's been warned of. <br/>Also they will be fighting some demons and being kick ass shadowhunters. </p><p>Extract:  “Your Stele? We never got a chance to draw our Runes before we left.” Guiltily, Emma shook her head “I don’t need any”, she pulled up the sleeve of her gear and revealed her shoulder. Julian eyed the Runes and sighed, “You know they work better if I place them on you, right?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Emma sipped the glass of red wine in her hand. She had stolen it out of the institutes (mostly) unused cellar. After the week she had, had Emma thought she deserved it. Shadowhunters weren’t forbidden from drinking, but drinking before going on a mission was highly frowned upon, at least Emma assumed so. But she was about to scout out an abandoned warehouse that was supposedly being guarded by Moloch demons, guarding what Emma didn’t know, with Julian without a little liquid courage. 

Since she had led Julian to believe that she wasn’t interested in him, their bond as parabati had suffered to say the least. Emma often made a point of avoiding him around the institute, something she was sure the kids had noticed. 

She gulped down the rest of her wine, a warm feeling pooling in the pit of her stomach. Her head span slightly as she stood from her position on the bed and tucked the wine bottle under it. 

In reality, she knew that drinking whilst on a mission was very dangerous and defiantly not the best idea she had ever had, but she hadn’t been on a mission with Jules since rejecting him and she was nervous, of all things. Though, as the wine flowed through her blood stream her tightly coiled nerves seemed to unwind and she felt herself relaxing. 

Emma made her way to the weapons room, pulling Cortana, from its place on the shelf. Glancing at the wall, she shoved a few extra Seraph Blades into her weapons belt for safekeeping. After assembling her weapons, Emma’s hands moved to her Stele. Her fingers wound round it as she pulled it from her belt. She contemplated just letting Jules draw the runes on her, like he always had, but she thought back to the bright glow that emanated from them at the convergence and how her rune had saved him when he should have died. NO. She thought, placing the Stele against her skin. I will not be the cause of Julian’s insanity. Or death. She let these encompassing thoughts fuel her as she awkwardly drew Runes onto her forearm and shoulder. Agility. Foresight. Speed. Soundlessness. 

*****

Julian sat on the hood of his car, spinning his Stele in his fingers. Diana had asked him to check out the demon activity at the warehouse across town. He had planned on asking Diego to come, but Diana insisted he take Emma. 

Emma had dated before, and Julian never seem to let it effect his parabati bond with her, but something about it being Mark she was now with, just unnerved him. He missed Emma fiercely, sometimes he swore she could feel the physical ache he did. When she would glance at him in training or tutorial sessions with Diana, his heart would contract and Emma’s glance would fall like she felt it too. 

Emma emerged from the door, dressed in her tight, black patrol gear, radiant as ever. Her hair was gathered up in a high ponytail and Julian longed to free it from its restrains and draw the way it pooled around her face.  
He slid off the hood and walked round to the driver’s side door. Emma climbed in beside him, placed Cortana on the back seat and propped her feet up on the dashboard. Julian smirked knowingly to himself; at least one thing in their relationship hadn’t changed. 

They drove in silence for a while, the highway was busy so Julian ignored the lack of communication and focused on the road. However, once they had turned off the highway, the silence became deafening. “OK Em, thats enough” Emma’s head snapped towards him, but she stayed silent; offering him the chance to continue. Julian sighed. “ I hate not talking to you, you’re my parabati for God’s sake” Emma physically winced at the mention of their bond, her blonde hair whipping around her face as the wind blew in through her open window. “We have to work together and I.. miss you Em. Please.” Julian watched the road as Emma calculated her response. “OK, yeah. I have missed talking to you too.” Her voice was quiet and the silence briefly returned. Emma turned on the radio and adjusted herself in her seat. “So, what do you know about this mysterious mission?” Julian smiled at the familiarity; him and Emma disusing missions and demons was something he knew and could work with. 

****

“Well as far as I know, the Moloch demons have been there for a while but the Clave have been unaware as they have been keeping a fairly low profile” Emma nodded along, “so that’s why we are being sent to survey the building. See how much damage they are doing and what intervention is needed”. Jules eyed her as he spoke, glancing at the road sparingly. Emma felt herself blush under his focus; she removed her feet form the dash to give her an opportunity to break eye contact.

A large warehouse suddenly loomed up in front of them, Jules pulled the truck behind a huge tree and held out his hand to Emma, and confused she raised her eyebrows at him. “Your Stele? We never got a chance to draw our runes before we left.” Guiltily, Emma shook her head “I don’t need any”, she pulled up the sleeve of her gear and revealed her shoulder. Julian eyed the runes and sighed, “You know they work better if I place them on you, right?” Emma rolled her eyes “I know Jules, OK? It was just quicker this way “ she quickly dismissed his comment and shrugged as she swiftly exited the car, pulling Cortana with her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, i got a bit carried away this today wrote way to much for one chapter.. that means double update!:)
> 
> Extract: Emma raised her eyes from the knife to Jules, who was too engaged fighting the remaining demons to notice. He pulled a Seraph blade swiftly from his belt; it promptly began to glow as he slashed it down into the demon he was fighting. Emma was always amazed watching Jules fight. Loving, caring, gentle Jules who no one expected to be as fierce and as brave as he was in battle, well no one except her.

The warehouse was dark; Emma stepped soundlessly through the wide corridors- Julian’s witch light illuminated the walls surrounding them. Emma missed their focus in battle, she used to be able to pull off of Julian’s strength from their parabati bond, but lately she felt him pulling away from her, not working with her. She felt the sensation in the base of her skull, it was like when she fought without Julian – her whole sense of gravity shifted and she felt ever so slightly off balance. Emma glanced behind her at Jules, he held the witch light at shoulder height, scanning the walls as they moved forward along the corridor. His throwing knives gleamed in his weapons belt, his gear was pulled taught over his chest and Emma suddenly was all too aware of his close proximity to her. 

There was a sudden crash deeper inside the warehouse- she unsheathed Cortana and charged forward, Julian stepping in time with her. The sensation at the base of her skull faded as she and Julian ran through the building, their fighting and protection instincts taking over any awkwardness they felt. 

Emma skidded to a halt as she turned the corner; the glow of Julian’s witch light caught the unwanted attention of the Moloch Demons that were scattered throughout the main room of the warehouse. _Shit_. Emma thought, _they were not supposed to engage_. She threw a glance in Julian’s direction, but he seemed to have already understood her unspoken words: ‘lets go’, he readied his first throwing knife in his right hand and fingered the handle of a Seraph blade in the other. Emma sprinted towards the first demon, swiftly removing its twisted head from its body; ichor sprayed all over the arm of her jacket. She pulled Cortana free as the demon faded into dust and returned to whatever realm it came from.

There were two more approaching from her left, she turned quickly and plunged her sword into the first, it disappeared beneath her just as the second reared up coming to almost double her height. She raised Cortana above her head, prepared to slash it down into the center of the demon. Though, she suddenly didn’t have to. The demon screamed and burst into dust, Julian’s throwing knife clattered to the floor after it had disappeared. Emma raised her eyes from the knife to Julian, who was too engaged fighting the remaining demons to notice. He pulled a Seraph blade swiftly from his belt; it promptly began to glow as he slashed it down into the demon he was fighting. Emma was always amazed watching him fight. Loving, caring, gentle Jules who no one expected to be as fierce and as brave as he was in battle, well no one except her. 

****

Julian pulled his blade free, ready to fight on, but steadied himself when he saw that he and Emma had eliminated all the demons. He glanced towards her, expecting her to be lost in battle. However, she was stood gazing at him, her eyes ablaze in awe. Julian blushed under her stare and tucked his blade back into his weapons belt. He moved towards Emma, his eyes visibly scanned her frame to check for injuries. He knew that he would have felt them to, if she was injured, but on instinct he checked her over anyway. He always would. 

“What were they guarding?” asked Emma, shrugging out of her jacket as the ichor from the demons began to burn through it. Her arms were slim and toned and he had to force himself to look away as she pulled the jacket fully off and, after fully inspecting the arm, decided to leave it on the floor of the warehouse. “I’m not sure, but I think we should get back to the institute and come back with a better plan or backup” his voice was low, commanding, but Emma smirked knowingly at him “That’s never stopped us before”. Julian thought that over, though he knew it was true- they had never shied away from galloping into battle or danger before, but he could help think of Mark and Tavvy and Ty and her and how he hadn’t ever really had this much to loose before. 

Unexpectedly, Emma gripped his wrist; her hand seemed to burn his skin. She titled her head to the left, her eyes scanning his face. “I know you have a lot of responsibility Jules,” he cringed internally at her nickname for him, _Jules_. He never wanted Emma to think of him as _Jules_ again. That was what she called him when they were children and it just reminded him of everything that they _were_ and could never be. A moment of hurt flashed across her eyes and her hand dropped from his wrist. The dark building felt very small suddenly, with just the two of them. “Jule…Julian. Just know that I’m still your Parabati and you can still talk to me, tell me things that are bothering you. OK?” He nodded at her words, his eyes looked anywhere but her. “We should get going, before anymore demons show up.” Julian pulled his witch light from his pocket and it illuminated their faces, Emma’s eyes filled with grief and sorrow but the moment was over so quickly that if Julian didn’t know Emma the way only Parabati could, he would have missed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, i hope you guys enjoyed reading it! My ideas are starting to come together and comet now in the form of subtle hints so you guys will soon be understanding my take on the whole "parabati curse" idea. Please leave Kudos/comments if you liked it and want more chapters! selfishly, i want to know if people are actually liking my story because it really helps me to write it! Thanks you!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soo, as promised the double update!
> 
> Extract: His head snapped in her direction as she said his full name. She rarely called him Julian let alone Julian Blackthorn. She blushed slightly at how intense her answer had been, but he had to know. He had to realise just how much the kids, and indeed her, loved him. He took her palm, T-H-A-N-K-Y-O-U he wrote out – his figures prolonging each letter, like it pained him to let her go. She smiled at him in return, gazed at the domestic scene once more before breaking the silence and pushing into the room past Julian.

They arrived at the institute after a mostly quiet drive, Emma didn’t mind though. It wasn’t an awkward, uncomfortable silence filled with tension but a rather companionable, post-battle quietness. 

When she heaved open the heavy institute door, she found that it was noiseless. There was no Tavvy, playing or Livvy training. Her eyes searched for Julian, who crept in beside her, rasing his eyebrows at the lack of people in a usually very full institute. They took their weapons to the training room, and stripped off their gear. Julian promptly spun away from her as she removed her black top in favour of a more comfy, baggy white one she had left in the room beforehand. She rolled her eyes at his back; _it wasn’t really anything he hadn’t seen before_. Jules coughed quietly, as though he had been taken aback by her thoughts. She smiled in amusement as she changed her gear trousers, blushing internally as the muscles in Julian’s back contorted and moved when he hauled the shirt over his head. 

He turned back to face her, no longer sporting his tight battle gear but rather worn sweatpants and a brown top. Emma smiled at the familiar sight of him; she pulled her thick hair from its restraints and let it float down around her face. She noticed Jules staring, so ran her hands through her hair and shook it out around her. He coughed and awkwardly walked out of the room. She smirked softly and followed closely behind. 

They found the kids (and Mark) sat in the library, huddled round the TV in the corner of the room. Dru and Tavvy we snuggled into Mark's side, sound asleep. Ty and Livvy were sat on the floor by his feet, their legs pulled up beneath them as they watched the television. Emma came to stand beside Julian who was leant against the doorway, watching his family. He leant his head against the frame and quietly sighed, “You know Em, sometimes I think they may love Mark more than me.” Emma had almost laughed; she stood staring idiotically at him. _How could he think such a thing?!_ “Oh Jules. They could never, _would never_. You are basically the only parent they have every known, always making the hard choices so they don’t have to. Mark is like a new, exotic brother. The fascination will fade and you will see, again, just how much they adore you Julian Blackthorn” 

His head snapped in her direction as she said his full name. She rarely called him Julian let alone Julian Blackthorn. She blushed slightly at how intense her answer had been, but he had to know. He had to realise just how much the kids, and indeed her, loved him. He took her palm, T-H-A-N-K-Y-O-U he wrote out – his figures prolonging each letter, like it pained him to let her go. She smiled at him in return, gazed at the domestic scene once more before breaking the silence and pushing into the room past Julian.

 

Mark looked up the second Emma entered the room, his beautiful face beaming up at her. “You have returned. What did you find?” He shifted slightly under the weight of the sleeping Tavvy and Dru, but not enough to wake them. Emma sat beside Ty on the floor – however not too close, afraid of causing him any discomfort. He barely noticed her though, too absorbed in the film. They were watching "The Hunger Games”, a film very popular in the mundane world if Emma recalled correctly. 

She rested her head back against Marks knee, “yes we have returned” Emma answered obviously, tiredness enveloping her. “We ended up fighting Moloch demons, they were guarding something, but what, we are unsure.” She yawned and shifted so her cheek lay flat against Marks knee, “we came home though, deciding to wait for backup before pursuing it any further” Emma closed her eyes and listened to the TV in the background, “a wise choice” Mark replied. Emma tipped the corner of her lips up in reply. 

Since asking him to pretend to be her boyfriend, she found herself being overtly affectionate with Mark, even if she didn’t need to be. However, the feeling of happiness was suddenly replaced by one of anger and jealousy – it fizzled over her skin and stung her nerves. She frowned at the strangeness of it, but when she glanced up she noticed Julian, eyes fixed on her and her proximity to Mark. He appeared to be scowling at their interaction and his hands were balled into fists by his side. Emma suddenly realised that the wave of anger she had just felt, wasn’t hers at all. It belonged to Julian, but she could feel it. Just like they felt each other’s physical pain, she found herself being able to feel his emotional discomfort. 

Julian noticed her watching him; he closed his eyes and turned on his heel- stalking out of the room. Emma withdrew from Mark and flashed Livvy a smile, she hurried after him down the hallway, his anger sizzling beneath her skin. “Jules!” she called out, quickening her pace. “Julian! Wait!” she finally caught up to him and placed a hand on his arm, pulling him round. The anger rapidly faded and was replaced by an even stranger sensation; it felt like her heart was being pulled and squeezed in her chest. Emma opened her mouth to tell Julian, to ask him why she could feel his emotions, but she cut herself off – remembering what Jem had told her _if the bond was too close, if it tipped into romantic love –then it would begin to warp and change the kind of power that was generated by the spell._ She knew she couldn’t tell Julian why she couldn’t be with him, and by telling him this she was admitting half the truth. 

Emma reluctantly released her grip on his arm, her eyes pleaded silently with his to understand. “I..I…” Julian looked expectantly at her, she sighed, “We need to meet with Diana tomorrow, discuss the warehouse. Its important.” Julian’s gaze fell, like he was expecting something else. He turned to leave, “Yes Emma, it is. I’ll contact her first thing.” He walked soundlessly away from her, a flood of sadness hit Emma in the chest like a blow from a fight, she physically crumpled, unsure if it was hers or Julian’s sadness she could feel flowing through her body. As she leant against the cold wall of the institute, she figured that it was most definitely both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! What did you guys think? Did you like/expect that? I'm going to go into this plot line more and develop it, I'm basing this loosely on the idea in LM when towards the end Julian and Emma begin to know what each other are thinking...  
> Please comment / leave Kudos letting me know what you thought! Its helps me update faster because i know people are wanting to read it!:)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soo, thank you to everyone that has been commenting/leaving Kudos! It's really been inspiring me to write and i have posted 4 chapters in the space of 4 days which is unheard of for me! I don't know if this rate will continue because I've got a busy schedule next week but, you never know! 
> 
> Extract: Julian placed a hand on her arm, catching her attention “Em. I’m your parabati remember? I know when you’re in pain.” He touched the spot on her back that was throbbing, “I know it’s hurting here” he moved his hand in a steady path up her back “and here, and here.” His eyes were sorrowful and desperate. “It’s just one iratze. It will help.”

Julian stood next to the stove in the institute's kitchen, Tavvy and Dru were eating the pancakes he had made for them- their small hands sticky and wet from the syrup. Julian remembered last night then, how the two of them had been curled into Mark’s side as they slept and, how Emma had been drawn to him the moment they’d returned. He hated that he was jealous, hated the dark bitter feeling he was developing towards Mark. He knew that his brother had only just returned and that he should be grateful, but every time he saw Mark lace his fingers with Emma’s, idly touch Emma’s arm, shoulder, hand just because he could, Julian seethed. 

He was listening to Dru explain something to Tavyy that he had missed in ‘The Hunger Games’ last night, after he fell asleep, and consequently missed Emma’s quiet entrance. She came up behind him, reaching for a mug in the cupboard above his head. She stood unnecessary close and brushed her side against his. If Julian had been a mundane, the sudden jolt of electricity that passed through his body when she touched him would have been apparent to the whole world. Except, Julian knew how to conceal emotions, so he planted his lips together firmly and smiled at Emma as she filled her mug with the orange juice on the table. 

He watched her as she brushed her fingertips over the side where she had touched him, a movement so small and fast anyone else in the room would have never noticed. She shook her head at herself, he presumed, and continued to drink the juice, taking a seat at the table next to Tavvy. 

Julian made up a plate of pancakes for himself and Emma, took them over and sat next to her at the table. He eyed her carefully, silently asking if it was OK.  
Emma seemed unaffected by his choice of seat; carrying on her conversation about the demons they had faced the night before, with Tavvy.

“Wow! I hope I get to go on missions like that” Tavvy told Emma, she smiled around her mouthful, “You will Tav! You just need to be a little older so the Clave can detail you the most dangerous missions without worry” Tavvy laughed at Julian’s sudden expression of horror, Emma registered it and laughed too “OK, maybe not the most dangerous then. But definitely the most interesting!” She amended. Julian gave her a thankful smile, and then took a bite of his, now cold, pancakes. 

After the children had finished, and scurried off to the training room, Julian turned to Emma; to finish their conversation from the night before. “I’ve texted Diana, she’s going to come in later to discuss the mission and how the Clave wants us to continue.” Emma looked at him thoughtfully, “what do you think they are guarding?” Julian shrugged, “maybe they have just been congregating there after the whole Malcolm ordeal.” He gathered their empty plates from the table and took them over to the sink, filled it with water and soap and placed the dishes in. 

“Oh really?” Emma replied from the table, her voice portraying her disbelief “the Moloch demons were just, what, having a party in the warehouse?” Julian rolled his eyes, “you know what I mean Em." Emma was silent, Julian registered her looking over at him as he washed, “yeah, I do.” Her eyes fell to his feet and her voice was quiet, like her statement had held much more weight that Julian knew. 

Her chair scrapped against the tiles as she pulled back from the table, “thanks for breakfast Jules” she told him absently as she exited the kitchen. Julian’s hands stilled in the sink, he sighed heavily. He knew Emma didn’t want the relationship he did, and he knew he had to stop wanting her every time she was around him. He had to stop admiring the curve of her hips in her tight tank tops and shorts she wore to breakfast, and the way her hair curled around her face beautifully whenever she wore it down. Julian squeezed his eyes shut tightly and pushed his, lets face it, _illegal,_ thoughts about Emma from his mind and resumed his task. 

****

Emma stopped the second she was outside of the kitchen, she pressed her back into the wall and waited. She knew she was waiting to see if Julian felt anything after she had left, or if she had been imagining last night. 

Just as Emma began to suspect that maybe her withdrawal from Julian had been making her crazy, she felt something. It was a warm sensation, low in her belly, her skin began to turn hot and desire flowed through her veins like a drug. _Oh my God._ Emma thought, she knew that this was the way _Julian_ was feeling right now. He _wanted_ something desperately, but what she didn’t know. Though, from the way heat crept up her neck and cheeks she figured it was more _someone,_ than something. 

Straightening her back she pushed off the wall, prepared to go back in to Julian. She turned the corner of the wall, but froze in her tracks, stopping under the doorframe. Cristina was sat at the table with a plate of Julian's pancakes. She must have come in through the other entrance after Emma had left, and her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. She had believed that the want and desire Julian had been feeling was for her, but maybe it was for _Cristina?_ After all, Tina was beautiful. Emma shoved away from the doorframe; she didn’t want to stick around and feel what it was like for Julian to lust after someone else. 

****  
Emma found herself in the training room; she practiced jumping off high beams and landing with minimal injury. Her training was going well, she had almost forgot what it was like to feel Julian’s desire for someone that wasn’t her. A sudden wave of panic washed over her though, spreading from her fingertips to her toes. At the odd fizzling sensation, she lost her balance and tumbled, ungracefully, to the floor. Her back hit the training matt with a thud, the spontaneous fall not allowing her time to land like she had be practicing. She raised her head carefully from the floor and saw that Julian was moving towards her, fast. He had been watching her practice, she cursed under her breath. It had been Julian’s panic that had thrown her off; he had been worried about her whilst she trained. 

“Are you OK?” Julian sank down besides her, pulling her up by her arm. She cringed as she stood, her back aching from the fall. “Here, let me give you an iratze – to help with any bruising” Julian’s eyes were wide and panicked; Emma felt his worry cursing through her. “No, I’m fine Jules. Falls happen.” She winced again as she bent down to collect Cortana, which she had dropped during the unexpected fall. Julian placed a hand on her arm, catching her attention “Em. I’m your parabati remember? I know when you’re in pain.” He touched the spot on her back that was throbbing, “ I know it’s hurting here” he moved his hand in a steady path up her back “and here, and here.” His eyes were sorrowful and desperate. “It’s just one iratze. It will help.”

Emma thought back to when they were children, how their entire bodies would be dotted in healing runes, strength runes, bravery runes for each training session. Her and Julian would sit and place them on each other tentatively before each of them sparred. She saw the need to help her in his eyes and felt the worry rolling off him. Emma was reluctant; she knew the power of runes once romantic feelings were involved, but remembered the way Julian had felt about Cristina . She took his palm and wrote O-K, before barring her forearm to him. 

****

Julian drew the design of the rune carefully, the artist in him taking over and wanting it to be perfect. His Stele pressed into her warm skin as she pulled on the runes power. The pain in his back began to subside, meaning that the injury Emma had sustained was beginning to heal too. 

After he had finished the rune, he ran his fingertips over it. Emma’s smooth skin was riddled with runes for different characteristics and he admired his iratze that sat between a rune for sight and soundlessness. Emma watched his fingertips as they trailed over her skin, goose bumps appearing in their wake. He lifted his gaze to her eyes, admiring the flecks of gold within them. An intense feeling of adoration for her swelled within him, her eyes roamed his face and she moved her arm, and hand, so that their fingers could interlink. 

The rune suddenly began to glow a bright golden light. Emma gasped at the iratze as it glowed against her skin. She quickly withdrew her hand from his and the brightness of the light dimmed slightly. 

He watched for her reaction, assuming it would mirror the shock in his. Though, it didn’t. Her eyes told a story of fear and dread. Like she knew that this would happen. Emma moved further away from him and the glow of the rune faded completely. She traced her fingertips along the pattern of the iratze, and glanced up at him once more before exiting the training room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! What did you guys think?? As always, let me know in the comments/ leave a Kudos if you liked it! Emma and Julian are kind of breaking my heart at the moment in this and i don't want people to loose hope! I have plans for some.. lets say happiness in the near future.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, sorry for taking ages to post i've been super busy but i have he next chapter all written up and should be posting tomorrow:))
> 
> Extract: Emma ran through the halls of the institute, her iratze burned from the intense heat and glow it had emitted. She ran past the kitchen and kids rooms until she was in front of hers, tears threatened to spill over her eyes – she could feel the rejection Julian felt cursing through her –please stop Jules, she thought, I can’t take this anymore. She pushed through into her room and slammed the door shut behind her.

Emma ran through the halls of the institute, her iratze burned from the intense heat and glow it had emitted. She ran past the kitchen and kids rooms until she was in front of hers, tears threatened to spill over her eyes – she could feel the rejection Julian felt cursing through her – _please stop Jules_ she thought, _I can’t take this anymore._ She pushed through into her room and slammed the door shut behind her.

“Emma?” It was Cristina; she was sat atop Emma’s bed, leant against the headboard – clearly waiting for her to return. An odd feeling of jealousy towards Cristina bubbled within her; she could still remember the _want_ Julian had felt when Cristina was in the kitchen earlier. 

She shuffled forwards on the bed, “Emma what is it?” her eyes full of concern and worry for her friend. Emma’s resolve collapsed, she flopped down onto the bed beside Cristina, her back falling against the soft comforter. She gazed up into her friend’s warm eyes and words began to flow out of her. She knew she shouldn’t really be telling Cristina about the Parabati curse, about what Jem had said, how runes Julian placed on her began to glow and burn and how she could, somehow, _feel_ Julian’s emotions. 

Cristina sat patiently listening until Emma was finished; she sighed heavily and waited for her friend’s response. She waited to feel the rush of guilt she knew she should feel. She was basically making Cristina an accomplice to her list of crimes. She waited, and waited, but the feeling never came. Emma trusted Cristina after all, and she desperately needed to share this with someone. It was driving her crazy. 

“What about Mark?” Emma shook her head slowly, “there is no Mark” she shrugged “there never really was.” Cristina’s eyes widened, as she understood Emma’s statement, but then they quickly softened. “You know I love you Emma, but this is bad.” She took Emma’s hand “not only is this illegal, but it turns out its not a _stupid_ law after all. It has been put in place to stop Parabati going crazy and murdering their families! You have to stop Emma.” Her tone was desperate and anxious – an unsettling emotion coming from Tina, her usual calm demeanor was beginning to break.

Emma stood abruptly, “stop what?! I’m not doing anything T! The runes Jules, my _parabati_ , gives me are strong and powerful and _glow!_ I can’t stop it. There’s nothing going on to stop!” Cristina stood and placed her hand on Emma’s shoulder, “OK. Look, we need to figure this out but right now, Diana is waiting for us in her office.” Emma sighed and nodded, following her friend out the door. 

***  
Julian’s heart drummed in his chest, he watched the training room door that Emma ran out of like she would reaper if he just stared hard enough. She didn’t. In her quick exit, Emma had left Cortana on the training matt. Julian gathered it up, along with a couple throwing knives that were scattered on the floor, and placed it on its shelf. He was admiring the blade when Emma’s voice rang out, _“please stop Jules.”_ Julian turned towards the door, “Em..” but he cut himself off, there was nobody there. 

An odd sensation passed over Julian; his body tingled. He finished putting the weapons away and began to make his way towards the kitchen. _“I can’t take this anymore.”_ Julian span around, convinced he was going crazy. “EMMA?!” He called out, but he was alone in the dark institute corridor. Emma’s voice had been as clear as day in his head, her words rippled over him like a wave. He shook it off and tucked his head into the library; Ty and Livia were in there – reading up on laws about Shadowhunters “fraternising with Downworlders”.  
“Is there something I should know?” Julian asked, sounding like an intruding parent. Livvy placed the book on her lap and looked up at him, “no? Ty and I were just doing some extra reading for the ‘laws’ test with Diana next week” she smiled sweetly at him, but he was unconvinced. Julian hummed in response, prepared to call her out for it when Mark shouted his name. He offered his siblings a small smile, then headed in the direction of his brothers voice. 

****

Mark, Julian, Cristina and Emma were stood in Diana’s office- she was telling them about a crucial event being hosted by Nightshade that they had to attend. “The clave have assured me that the attendees of the party will be able to offer insight into the increase in demon activity – especially the warehouse Emma and Julian were sent to the other night.” Diana smiled at Julian; she directed her information mainly at him. “So we have to go?” Emma’s voice sounded out from the corner of the room, “Yes you do. All of you this time” Diana replied, gesturing round the room. “What about Diego?” Cristina asked, “He’s away at he moment. Confidential Clave business.” Diana offered Cristina a sad smile but shrugged off the comment. 

_“Everything the clave does is confidential”_ Emma’s voice sounded out. Her voice was close, and it sounded off. He looked over to her but she was sat, quietly, on the arm of the chair in Diana’s office. No one else fazed by her comment. “OK, so what time is it? The party?” Diana shuffled around her desk, and looked for the piece of paper, presumably, with the information on it. 

Julian watched Emma, the way her hair was pulled up from her face made her look angelic. She shivered and gazed at him, her eyes flickered between him and Cristina. " _This is so confusing_ ” Emma’s voice bounced around his head, but his mind raced at the possibility of it. Her mouth had not opened, and she had not spoken those words- yet he heard them. Just like he had earlier. Was he going crazy? 

His head began to spin and Emma looked over at him in concern, her eyes filled with worry. _“What’s wrong?”_ the words were loud and clear in his head yet, again, she had not spoken them. Julian thought back to he rune and how it had glowed. The way he had survived an impossible poison that should have killed him, their Parabati power was increasing- that was for certain – was it possible that he could _hear_ her thoughts?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for reading and comments/kudos are very much appreciated!
> 
> The next chapter should be up tomorrow, but I'm just not 100% sure i like the plot line of Julian being able to hear Emma? Its quiet tricky to write as obviously he can't hear all her thoughts just a select few... i'm going off of Cassandra's ideas in the book: when in the final battle against Malcolm, Emma hears Julian, in her head, telling her to wait before attacking ( i just switched it round). Please leave me a comment about what you think? This was always my original plan and i have more chapters based around this but i can always redirect because after writing it, i'm not too sure anymore.. it's a logistical nightmare!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, as promised next chapter update..i hope you like it!
> 
> Extract: Emma was speaking to a very handsome vampire about his run in with some Shax demons, nodding politely but waiting for an appropriate time to redirect the conversation to the warehouse, when anger began to boil within her. She excused herself from the vampire, and turned to see Julian staring right at her. _OK. That’s enough._ Emma thought, stalking over to where Julian was stood. She gestured for him to follow her until she ended up at the cloakroom of Nightshades apartment. She quietly opened the door and pulled him inside.

They had all flocked out of Diana’s room shortly after she was finished explaining the mission. Emma had been focused on Julian for most of it, only half listening to Diana. Julian’s emotions were all over the place, his anxiety about _something_ bounced off him and straight onto her. She struggled to keep her gaze off him as his emotions bubbled within her, but they had to prepare for Nightshades party tonight- so quickly dispersed to change and prepare. 

Julian had left the room abruptly, not glancing back at her or the others. Emma stood in her room; she wore a black, tight, dress. It had a halter neck and a deeply low cut back – it had been a gift from Isabelle last time she was in New York. The dress was short and revealing – something Emma wouldn’t usually wear, but Nightshades parties were notorious for being over the top. She paired it with a pair of fairly high, yet sensible heels. Emma knew that if a fight broke out she would need to be able to participate without breaking an ankle. 

Emma glanced in the mirror one last time before walking out of her room and descending the flight of stairs. Cristina and Julian were already waiting in the entryway; the cuff links Emma had bought Julian, previously, peaked out from underneath the jacket he was wearing. Cristina noticed her first, and smiled in approval at her outfit choice. She herself had worn a red dress; it was pulled in at the waist and flared out around her hips. 

Julian glanced up at her, his eyes widening and mouth falling slightly agape. She braced herself on the banister as a flood of emotions swept across her skin. Julian _wanted_ her – that was abundantly clear. Waves of desire and lust rolled off him and washed over Emma, biting at her skin. The look in his eyes reminded her of their night at the beach. His pupils were dark with lust like they had been then, his eyes roamed over her body until heat pooled in her cheeksand turned them red. 

Mark coughed from the landing, interrupting their silent moment. He descended the stairs until he was level with her, “You look very beautiful Emma Carstairs” he smiled along with his compliment, Emma returned his gesture though all to aware of Julian’s sudden feelings of bitter jealousy to stay by his side much longer. 

They arrived at the party shortly after 10pm; Nightshades apartment was decorated in lavish curtains and bowls of colourful drinks lined his countertops. Emma’s eyes travelled across his many party favours – particularly interested in the green bowl of liquid that were steaming in Nightshades kitchen. 

“OK, so what’s the plan?” Cristina asked quietly, looking over the guests as they mingled with each other. “Diana said to just act natural, talk to guests and try to find out any information regarding the warehouse or the increase in demon activity.” Julian responded. The three of them nodded in unison, and fanned out amongst the crowd to begin extracting information. 

Emma was speaking to a very handsome vampire about his run in with some Shax demons, nodding politely but waiting for an appropriate time to redirect the conversation to the warehouse, when anger began to boil within her. She excused herself from the vampire, and turned to see Julian staring right at her. _OK. That’s enough._ Emma thought, stalking over to where Julian was stood. She gestured for him to follow her until she ended up at the cloakroom of Nightshades apartment. She quietly opened the door and pulled him inside. 

Emma pushed Julian up against the door as she closed it, his eyes searching her face for answers to her odd behavior. She sighed sorrowfully; “you have to stop Jules” her voice was desperate; pleading. “Stop what?” he asked, confusion clear in his voice. His pulse jumped at their close proximity and Emma felt his anxiety.

She gazed down to his lips, a swell off affection brushed over her skin and she shivered. She looked into his eyes and pleaded with him wordlessly, _stop wanting me_ she thought. _I can’t take this for much longer_. Something resonated with him then, and his eyes fell from her face. “I can’t.” His voice was small; his calloused fingers tipped her chin up to face him. “I can’t stop wanting you Emma. Especially not when you look like.. that” his eyes wandered over her dress again, drinking in her appearance. 

Emma frowned in confusion, her eyes scanning his. “How did you..” but she trailed off, lost for words. He brushed his fingers over the now faded iratze, that had glowed in the training room. His hands ran up her arm and combed through the tips of her slightly curled hair. “Em.. I..” but she cut him of. Emma could feel his anxiety, lust, love desire and it all became too much. She surged forward and kissed him. 

****

Taken aback by her sudden kiss, Julian pressed himself further into the door. Emma tugged at the collar of his shirt and wound her hands round the nape of his neck, he groaned softly into her lips as he tangled his hands in her hair, tugging gently. She ran her hands down his torso and began to undo the buttons of his dress shirt, but Julian pulled back slightly – needing to see his want reflected in her eyes. Her lips were swollen from the intensity of their kiss and her pupils were dark with lust. He spun them around so her back was pressed firmly into the door as she tugged his lips back to hers. Julian’s mind flooded with her voice, all he could hear was her repeating his name over and over. He pressed into her harder, the intensity of her voice and thoughts making his skin tingle. She groaned his name, it was deep and husky and he never wanted this to stop. 

He grabbed at her thighs and hoisted her up, legs wrapped around his waist. His heart was beating so fast in his chest that he thought it was going to burst; he began to kiss a trail down her neck as she tugged at his hair. He wanted so badly to tell Emma he loved her, in fact, he had never felt so desperate to tell her. 

Suddenly, his parabati rune began to burn. He hissed and released Emma, her feat touching the floor soundlessly. His shirt was half undone so he pulled harshly until the other buttons popped open. The rune on his chest began to glow, much like Emma’s iratze. Emma gasped quietly; her hand covered her mouth as her eyes lifted to his. The glow of his rune intensified, becoming brighter and hotter. He clutched at his chest, doubling over as he heard a faint hiss from Emma. Her Parabati rune had to began to glow too and her eyes glazed over as the room filled with a golden light. 

Emma’s mind began to race; Julian heard her thoughts churning over and over in the corner of his mind. It was like she was speaking right next to his ear; her words were so fast they were almost unrecognisable. Though he was able to understand a few, _Curse_ , _parabati power_ , _Warlock_ , _death_ , _insanity_. Emma’s mind was whirling. Julian griped her biceps, her toned muscles contorted beneath his hands. It seemed to distract her though as her thoughts ceased and his mind was once his own again.

“What do you mean Emma?” Julian’s confusion led him to forget rationality, and he began to repeat her _thoughts_ back to her. “I didn’t say that?” She said quietly after he was done, “no. But, you thought it.” He smiled sadly at her and tapped her temple with his index finger. He trailed it down her cheek and along her neck. “Julian, can you…” she stopped, stuck for words. “Hear your thoughts?” He picked up the obvious end to her sentence, “yeah, I think so. At least some of them I can- I don’t really know how it works?” 

Emma looked torn, her eyes revealing an inner battle she was having. She placed her hand over his still glowing Parabati rune and took a deep breath “I can feel your emotions Jules.” Her toes bumped his they were so close, her breath fanned out over his check. Their close proximity should have warmed him, but with her words his blood ran cold. “When you want something, I feel it.” She continued; voice strained. “When you’re scared, tired, worried, jealous.. I _feel_ it Jules. It washes over my whole body like the ocean and fizzles under my skin.” 

Julian stared blankly at her, lost for words. She could _feel_ his emotions? He thought back to the last few days and how many times he had looked at her with want and lusted after her; he blushed furiously. “ For a little while I thought you wanted to be with Cristina.” Emma’s cheeks began to turn pink, “Every time you felt desire and love she was there and I was so jealous.”  
_All I wanted was for you to feel that way about me._ Her lips were still as Julian realised that she had thought the last part, the words echoed around his head as he absorbs what she had just said. 

Julian leant forward to kiss her again, but paused “what about Mark?” Emma’s eyes shone, “it’s always been you Jules. Always.” He pulled her forward then, and pressed his lips to hers. Emma grabbed at his back, pulling closer, her parabati rune was still glowing and he felt the heat pouring off it. “Em” he sighed into her lips, and ran his hand down her arm. 

Suddenly, the Light bulb began to hiss, growing brighter and brighter. The pair pulled apart just as it burst above them; glass rained down onto Julian’s hair. He heard a scream from outside; Emma slowly cracked the door open to see that all the windows had shattered, along with the glass bowls and cups. The apartment was thrust into darkness as a low murmur rang out amongst he guests. Emma glanced down at their still glowing Parabati runes, horror spreading out across her face.

She stiffened and moved away from Julian, “this is why it’s illegal Jules! We did this” Julian reached out to her, but she recoiled “you don’t know that Emma” but she did, as did he. Emma had been thinking about _powerful runes_ and _warlock magic_ , maybe this is what she had meant? He wanted to ask her, but he was too late. She had slipped from the dark room and was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everybody for reading and sticking with me! Things are starting to..heat up now and i may have to give the chapters mature warning from now. As always comment and kudos if you liked it?! I'm fairly new to writing smut scenes so hopefully they will get better (and more intense) as the story progresses:)
> 
> If you want to, follow me on tumblr: http://rhea-moon.tumblr.com  
> I post my chapter updates on here/other Shadowhunter related things!


	7. NOT A CHAPTER - PSA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this isn't a chapter - sorry!! PSA- exam season and lack of posts:((

I just wanted to say, I'm sorry for not posting in a while and I probably won't be posting for a while yet - I've got A level exams from now until end of May/beginning of June so I probably won't be posting until after because i'm crazy busy and have no time to write! When I post another chapter i'll delete this -- but please don't give up on me! I promise i'm so far from done with this story and will be posting as soon as my exams are over!  
Thanks for reading so far!:)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SOOO - after all your lovely comments (thank you by the way!) I decide to update! - It's a little shorter than usual because of time and work but i hope you like it
> 
> Extract: Emma thought of Julian, of the sweet taste of his lips and utter joy she felt as he pressed himself against her. Her body felt cold and hollow without him near, she finally knew what it was like to have him and couldn’t bare the thought of never feeling like that again. She met the wooden the door with her back and sunk to the floor, reached up to lock it, and emptied the bottle of wine.

Emma threw the door to the institute open, her heels left discarded in the stairwell as she ran for her room. Her parabati rune burned from the heat and her lips tingled from the kiss. Her heart felt heavy in her chest and she forced back the tears that threatened to spill over her cheeks. Her room was cluttered with clothes from earlier that night; she had agonised over what dress to wear to Nightshade’s party but now all she wanted to do was rip it off and tug on her battle gear. She could think in her battle gear, everything was strategic and straightforward. You fight, or run or duck or kill. Emotions never got in her way in a fight. 

Her phone buzzed again, and Cristina’s name flashed on her screen – as it had been doing since she left the party. Emma powered down her phone and pulled out the bottle of wine she still had stashed under her bed. She cursed as she tugged out the cork, her hands betraying her as they wobbled and fought to contain her shakes. 

Emma thought of Julian, of the sweet taste of his lips and utter joy she felt as he pressed himself against her. Her body felt cold and hollow without him near, she finally knew what it was like to have him and couldn’t bare the thought of never feeling like that again. She met the wooden the door with her back and sunk to the floor, reached up to lock it, and emptied the bottle of wine. 

****

Julian pulled his friends from the packed kitchen, scanning the crowed for Emma as he moved them through the apartment. “What’s going on?” asked Cristina, her eyes shone bright under the moonlight as she tugged on Julian’s arm. “We need to go. Now” he told her, “we need to get back the institute. Have you seen Emma?” Cristina’s eyebrow’s pulled together in confusion, “No? I thought she was with you?” Julian shook his head curtly. _No. She definitely wasn’t with him._

They broke free of the confused crowd, just as Nightshade managed to get the power back on. The party started up again but Julian and the others made their swift exit and headed for his car. “I don’t understand. Where’s Emma? And what happened to your shirt?” Mark's voice was an octave higher than usual – it made him sound young and vulnerable. Julian bit down the wave of Jealousy that passed over him. “She’s gone. I don’t know where so don’t ask.” Mark stepped back at the abruptness of his brother’s words- as though they had physically hurt him. He nodded quickly to indicate he understood and piled into the back seat beside Cristina. Julian rubbed at his parabati rune; the intense burning sensation hadn’t worn off yet. It stung and throbbed but the pain didn’t bother him, it was the reminder of Emma and her kiss that did. 

****  
The institute was quiet when they arrived, the kids must have all been asleep. Julian listened for signs of Emma, but came up with nothing. He tugged his blazer off and hung it in the coat closet before noticing the pair of heels thrown down at the floor of the stairway. _Emma_. He raced the up the steps, taking two at a time, and in his haste forgot to conceal his feelings of absolute relief and desperation as he headed for her room. 

Without hesitating, he twisted the doorknob, it rattled under his touch but the large wooden door remained firmly shut. He rasped his knuckles on the surface, and willed Emma to feel his _need_ to see her. However, the door remained shut. He sighed deeply and leaned into the thick frame, resting his head upon it. “Emma. _Please_ open the door. I just..I just need to see that you’re OK. Then I’ll go. I _promise_.” Nothing. Julian debated with himself on what to do, but ultimately his panic won, so he withdrew his Stele from his pocket and drew the opening rune onto the side of her door. He took his time with the design, as he did with every rune he drew. It lit up as the door unlocked, and creaked open ever so slightly. 

“Emma?” He peered round into her bedroom, he hadn’t been in here for months. Her clothes were screwed up in piles on the floor – pretty dresses that she had obviously considered for Nightshade’s party. Her walls were lined with photographs of her, Cristina, the kids and _him_. Julian saw her then, she was sprawled out over her duvet, asleep. There were make-up streaks down her cheeks and a discarded, empty, bottle of wine by her feet. _Oh Em_. Julian thought. _He did this_. Emma was so strong and kind and brave, and _he_ had reduced her to tears. 

He ran his fingertips gently over her cheek and pressed a tender kiss to her forehead. Though she looked completely wrecked and _devastated_ his heart jumped in his rib cage. He _loved_ her so much. Emma Carstairs. His parabati. He allowed himself to feel this. One last time. He allowed himself to love and want and fucking _need_ her, just once more. He pressed a final kiss to the crown of her head and removed the empty bottle from her bed. He began to leave but glanced around her room once more, soaking up everything that was _her_. 

He pressed her door shut, and erased any evidence of the opening rune. The picture of Emma drinking, crying, missing and _loving_ him flooded his mind. He could never, _would never_ do that to her again. He had to stop feeling this way- now that he knew Emma felt it too. As he walked towards his room, he felt his final surge off affection for Emma, then pushed any and all feelings for her deep, deep down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOO, ARE YOU AS SAD AS I AM RIGHT NOW?!  
> I swear to God these two will be the death off me...  
> Thank you to everyone for being understanding/wishing me luck with exams, you guys motivated me to write some more for you because you were being so nice:)  
> As usual, thank you for reading and comment/kudos if you liked it!
> 
> *Also, i will delete chapter 7 after exams so this just reads straight through but i'm going to keep it up for the time being so people know whats going on:)
> 
> Follow/message me on tumblr about this fic/fic prompts or anything Shadowhunters related (or any fandom really)
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/rhea-moon
> 
> Side blog - purely fandom related and where i post fic updates: http://rebel-kings.tumblr.com


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Extract:  
> Julian retreated to his studio promptly after that, and locked himself in his private room that no one was allowed to see. No one except Emma. The room was filled with her: her smile, hair, eyes, nose, and cheeks. Everything that made him love her was surrounding him…taunting him. Julian grew angry suddenly; he screwed the picture up between his hands, crushing it with enough force to tear the page. He let out a cry of frustration, and it felt as if his heart was being crushed just like his picture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOOO, its been a while! i'm still technically on hiatus because exams start next week:( But i wanted to give you guys a new chapter because i feel like i left it rather unfairly. So hopefully this will get you through the next few weeks then i should resume posting one every week or so.. thanks for being so patient! xx

Emma woke with a pounding headache. The light from the mid-morning sun filtered in through her window; creating streaks across her comforter. She looked to the foot of her bed- expecting to find her discarded wine bottle, but it was gone. As she peered out her window, her emotions began to drip back into the forefront of her mind. Her kiss with Julian, how she had felt, _he_ had felt, and what she _knew_ he could do. Her mind was racing and Emma knew that he only thing to remedy this frustration was training. She needed work out her issues with Cortana firmly in her grasp. 

Her tight training top slid over her torso with ease, settling her as it clung to her body; aiding her when speed was of the essence. Emma picked Cortana from the floor, aligning the blade with the dummy she was going to spar with. She thrusted her sword forward, striking the dummy exactly how she was taught.  


Shoulder, chest, throat. Disarm, and then kill.

She repeated her sequence; adjusting her foot work each time to increase speed and agility. After an hour of sparing with the mannequin sweat pooled in the dip of her back and the ever-inviting blue skies of LA beckoned her. She decided that after her encounter with Jules, she deserved a day of normality, well mundane normality, and that involved her, Cristina and the beach.

She left for the beach almost immediately after changing out of her battle gear, and texted Cristina to meet her there- the sooner she could leave the institute the better. The beach was fairly deserted, for a hot LA day, and she set up near the rocks that hid the spot where her and Julian had first been together. How Fitting.  
She rested her head upon a rock and allowed her mind to drift to him. Now that she new he could hear her thoughts; she had to be careful what floated into her mind when he was near. It was hard enough that they couldn’t be together; they didn’t need to mentally torture each other as well. 

****

Julian woke earlier than usual, his night had been mostly sleepless anyway – he couldn’t rid himself of the picture of a Emma; broken and crumpled on her bed. At 6am, he couldn't stand staring at his empty ceiling any longer so he padded to the kitchen and made a stack of pancakes, the routine of cooking calmed his nerves and pushed Emma from his mind. After cooking the sweet breakfast, he left them covered on the counter for when the children came looking for him. 

Julian retreated to his studio promptly after that, and locked himself in his private room that no one was allowed to see. No one except Emma. The room was filled with her: her smile, hair, eyes, nose, and cheeks. Everything that made him love her was surrounding him…taunting him. He reached for his nearest painting – a recent one of Emma with sunglasses placed atop her blonde hair and a smile stretching from ear to ear. She was looking at Tavvy as he played in the sand, though Julian had left that out of his picture. Julian grew angry suddenly; he screwed the picture up between his hands, crushing it with enough force to tear the page. He let out a cry of frustration and it felt as if his heart was being crushed just like his picture. 

His hand found the nearest paintbrush and paint sets. Raw pain and emotion flowed through him and out onto the page, and for the first time in along time; he didn’t paint Emma. 

****

Emma startled awake on the beach; sand covered her feet and legs. The tide had since come in and was inches away from lapping at her toes. The sun was dipped low in the sky and long shadows had appeared down the beach. _I must have fallen asleep_ she thought. Emma sat and reached for her phone, she had multiple missed calls from Julian and Livy. Emma ignored them and scrolled down to find two missed calls and a text from Cristina.

Tina:  
_Hey Em, can’t come to the beach today sorry! Diana sent me to meet with Nightshade.. as our information from last night was less than helpful.  
Anyway, what happened with you and J?! Tell me about it later? X_

Emma tapped out a short reply, promising to catch up with her friend when there was time. She gathered her things from behind the rocks, and found a very distinct burn line across her entire lower body. _Shit._ Emma thought. _That’s going to fucking hurt._

Emma hurried back to the institute, after having been gone all day she knew the others would begin to worry. She heaved open the thick front door of the Los Angeles Institute and called out but, to her confusion, was not replied to. Emma made her way towards the kitchen; which was unusually empty. _Where the hell is everyone?_ Emma thought, as she traipsed from room to room of the building. She located Mark, Julian and Tavvy in the training room; Mark and Jules were trying to teach Tavvy how to aim Throwing Stars so they would hit directly the first time. Mark was stood behind him adjusting his arm, whilst Julian observed and gave instruction.  


Julian noticed Emma before the others. A shock passed over her parabati rune as they locked eyes, and from Julian’s sudden intake of breath; he felt it too. He placed his hand over the rune on his chest and pressed down firmly, not breaking Emma’s gaze. Mark, however, pulled Julian from it. He questioned him on Tavvy’s technique and whether or not he was positioning his arm right. Julian nodded dismissively and his eyes flickered to Emma, watching her every move. 

Emma sighed and entered the room, answering Mark’s question directly and showing him where the boys arm needed to be to get the most accurate aim. Mark beamed up at her and nodded appreciatively. Bitterness fizzed under Emma's skin and _my God she hadn’t missed this_. 

_Jules stop._ She projected her thoughts out, not really understanding how it worked. He seemed to hear her though as his eyes softened and the bitterness was no longer as sharp or strong, just a dull, longing feeling. Emma’s heart ached. Her body ached. She wanted to be near him, hold him, touch him, _kiss_ him. So badly.  
_Shit_. She was so used to just _feeling_ this way about Julian that she _forgot_ he now heard all of this. She raised her gaze from the training mat to his eyes: they were dark and lustful. _So, he definitely heard her._ Emma’s cheeks turned pink, as her body flushed with embarrassment. 

She gave one final tip to Tavvy and Mark before excusing herself, not trusting her and Julian to be together right now. Especially as she was beginning to become hyperaware of his presence, with every encounter the parabati curse seemed to intensify. Their rune’s burned whenever they were near each other... which is exactly how Emma knew that Jules had followed her to her room, and was waiting outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY OKAY i know this really isn't ending any less resolved than the last chapter but i think you will like where the next chapter is going.. lets just say it involves Emma's room and a _very_ firmly locked door. 
> 
> As always kudos/comments if you liked it an thanks for reading:)
> 
> (P.S I guess this chapter is quite filler-y but i needed to explain Emma's emotional state right now - after all this parabati curse kiss stuff she is dealing with)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter summary:  
> Julian’s lips disconnected from hers and moved to her neck, a soft whimper escaped her mouth and encouraged a low rumble from deep within his chest. She titled her head back, and allowed him full access to the soft skin of her neck. He grunted in approval and softy bit the flesh there before soothing it with a caress of his tongue. He repeated this action until a purple bruise began to bloom on her neck. He then directed his attention elsewhere, lust filling his gorgeous eyes as he pulled back enough to remove her shirt. She then followed suit by tearing his up and over his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, its been a while! But my exams are finished so hopefully i can now crack on with this story.  
> I'm going to do a double update today and hopefully one in the next few days - i wrote so much that it was like a mini fic in its self. 
> 
> A few chapter notes though: Firstly, i know C.C said that Julian was sexually inexperienced compared to Emma, but for the sake of this fic lets presume he did his homework. Also, this took a more supernatural/ magic turn than i originally planned but i like it?? Let me know if you do to:)

Emma’s heart thundered in her ears, beating, pulsing throughout her body. She pressed her palm into her chest, only to find her heart beating at a slow, steady rhythm. She inhaled as the realization dawned upon her; it was Julian’s heart beat that she could feel roaring in her ears – as if he had just sprinted a marathon. 

She felt a sharp _tug_ on her parabati bond followed by a short rasp at the door. She moved her hand so it rested atop the doorknob, waiting for another sound from Julian. She felt another tug then, strong and rough, through her bond to the man standing on the other side of the door. He wanted her to let him in. She _felt_ it. _Emma_. His words echoed throughout her mind. His low, husky voice floated around her mind and infiltrated her thoughts. 

Emma gasped and reeled back from the door, stumbling and falling onto the bed. _What the hell?_ She heard a soft chuckle from the other side of the door, _shit_ he could hear her. _Could she now hear him too?_ Emma listened with her mind, clearing her own thoughts and willed his to come to her. They didn’t. _I’m projecting._ His voice floated around her skull again and she gasped, raising a hand to her temple. _How?_ she thought back, sending it straight down the tug in their bond she had felt earlier. _I don’t really know._ Pause. _I’ve ben practicing, I read up on the Silent Brothers abilities and.._ But his voice was gone. 

She waited for his silent words to drift back into her mind, clearing it for him. “Emma. Please let me in.” The words were spoken this time, a plea from his side of the door. Emma rose slowly, and crossed the few steps from her bed to the door. She sighed deeply and turned the door handle, opening it wide enough for him to enter. 

Julian obliged silently, crossing the threshold swiftly and then stood awkwardly next to her large windows. She shut the door behind him, and bolted it shut as an after thought…for safety reasons. A soft laugh escaped Julian’s lips as he obviously heard her trail of thought and inferred what she head truly meant. _Stop that!_ She hissed at him mentally and sat against the headboard on her bed. After a moment Jules joined her, and stretched his long limbs out in front of him. 

Emma took a moment to appreciate his beauty then, his dark hair in desperate need of a trim and usually lanky frame filled out slightly- the muscles in his forearms were more apparent than Emma ever remembered them being. 

“Thanks” Julian responded to her thoughts aloud. She cursed and shoved his arm, “stop _doing_ that!” She scolded him, he shrugged nonchalantly as if to say _I cant help it_. 

“So.” Emma began, “you read up on the Silent Brothers..” She prompted him to continue his explanation from earlier. He nodded and began his story – that he read up on them and how they managed to project their wording into peoples heads and how he had to envision a chord between them – attached through their parabati bond- and that he wasn’t sure if it would work but he sent a word then a sentence down it, imagining it flow and bend with the chord as it reached her mind. He told her it may not have worked, that some people the Silent Brothers tried to infiltrate had mental shields in place that stopped people seeing inside their heads. _I’ll have to get me some of those_ Emma thought. Julian laughed. 

Julian turned to her then, “please don’t” he responded. “I want to hear every thought you have about me”. Emma’s throat bobbed as she swallowed hard. She plucked at that tug, _chord_ , she had felt earlier – the one Jules had put in place she realised. She did as he had described and envisioned her thoughts passing along the chord as if she was speaking them from her mouth _even if they are illegal?_ She questioned mentally. His eyes went wide, and she knew he had felt the words pass along the bond and flow directly to his mind instead of simply _hearing_ them. Julian entwined their hands, _even then_ he responded. A wave of affection and love pulsated down the bond and Emma wondered if he had meant to send it, but after scanning his face she knew he had. 

She quickly shook her loving haze and pulled away form his grasp. “It’s _illegal_ Jules.” Her eyes tuned downwards as tears began to pool in them. She wiped them away. “We will go insane! INSANE Jules. Possibly kill everyone we love and know.. And I can’t, _can’t_ do that. To you, to, your.. _our_ family. I love them too much. I love _you_ too much.”

He stared at her blindly, her heart pounding in her chest as a wave of sadness rolled over her- a mixture of hers and Julian’s. Then it was gone, and something descended in its place. _Anger_. She recognised it. _His_ anger licked at her skin and singed the sadness from her veins. 

He moved closer to her. _We won’t Em. We will not go insane_ he spoke to her mentally, caressing the bond that was tugged taught between them. It was a sensation Emma didn’t know if she could get used to. It felt like he was _inside_ her. _Part_ of her and it filled her with so much happiness but also fear. 

“How do you..” she began,  
“Because Emma. What’s insanity is not me loving you, being with you. Insanity is us being apart when very fiber of my being is pulling me towards you. Both mentally and physically. I can’t not be with you. The risks are high, yes. But what will certainly drive me to total insanity is being right next to you everyday and knowing exactly what you are thinking about us, me, but not be able to touch you, kiss you or be near you. Emma, please..”

But she cut him off. He was right. Avoiding each other was insane. The bond between them was like fire in her veins. It boiled and hissed, begging Emma to let it out. And she knew, _knew_ , the only way to do to do was to accept this, _him_ , and stop fighting. So she did. 

She surged up to kiss him. Her wrists wrapped around his neck as she untangled her legs beneath her so that she could straddle him on the bed. He leaned back into the headboard and it creaked with the weight of them. 

Emma tired to clear her mind as he ran a hand along her arm and rested it on her waist. The other was tanged in her hair, gently tugging on it. She knew if she allowed her thoughts to drift she would end up thinking things they were not ready for, that may ruin _this_. So she focused on his body, the hard muscle under his shirt from relentless training and the strong arms that encompassed her. 

Julian’s lips disconnected from hers and moved to her neck, a soft whimper escaped her mouth and encouraged a low rumble from deep within his chest. She titled her head back, and allowed him full access to the soft skin of her neck. He grunted in approval and softy bit the flesh there before soothing it with a caress of his tongue. He repeated this action until a purple bruise began to bloom on her neck. He then directed his attention elsewhere, lust filling his gorgeous eyes as he pulled back enough to remove her shirt. She then followed suit by tearing his up and over his head. 

Julian flipped them and began to trail tender kisses down her abdomen; he stopped briefly when his nose met her navel. Julian’s eyes flickered up to hers- silently asking if she wanted him to stop. Emma fisted her fingers in his hair and gave a gentle tug in answer. She felt his lips curve into a smile against her stomach before continuing his path. 

Just as his lips reached the band of her trousers, she felt the familiar burning sensation in the parabati rune on her shoulder. _No. Not now._ The usual glow began to emit from it and Emma steadied herself for the pain she knew would soon follow. The sudden tension in her body caused Julian to move away from her, his brow creased in confusion. But the burning subsided and was instead replaced by the most intense feeling of bliss, joy and wonder Emma had ever felt. 

It tore through her, like crashing waves lapping against the shore. She gasped as a light began to pour from the rune. It flowed across her body then, reigniting all past runes Julian had ever given her. She gripped the sheets beside her, scrunching them in her balled fists, as her body was overwhelmed with every skill and enhanced sense the runes had ever given her. 

Julian watched in awe as light, only describable as that of stars and Angels, poured out from the runes and glowed brightly. She was like a human flame, burning and glowing against the white sheets. Julian reached for her hand then, the bond between them beckoning him closer to her. The glow pulsed but then dimmed as their fingers connected. The starlight emitting from Emma dimmed, but didn’t vanish. 

It had transferred to him. Emma gazed at his exposed torso as all the runes she had given him over the years began to sharpen and glow too. His grip on her fingers tightened; the intense pleasure rolled from her to him as the light beamed between them. She watched in amazement at the light that oozed from their skin. Emma felt the power and _magic_ , Warlock magic, circle them. It was strong and inviting, coaxing her to give into it and accept the power. 

The bulbs in her lamps gave out then- they shattered into a million pieces around them, plunging the rest of the room into darkness. The rest of the institute followed suit after that, the sharp sound of glass smashing and tumbling onto the floor filled the silent room. The grumbles of the rest of the Blackthorn children rang out into the silent halls as their home was filled with blackness. 

Their skin stayed lit though, light and _power_ flowed through their bones, tightening and securing the bond between them. If there was ever a time to go insane, to snap, this was it. With starlight cursing through their bodies that filled them with such an intense pleasure Emma thought she would combust. 

_Please don’t._ Julian projected, but it felt different. It wasn’t him just pushing into her mind; the chord connecting them was strong – a thick wire reaching between their two souls. It vibrated and hummed as the words were sent to her, allowing her the option to accept or deny them. To sever the chord or let him in. She wondered then, if it would work with feelings too. So Emma sent a vibration of _love_ down the bond, allowing it flow through her bones and into him. Jules gasped and opened his eyes; Emma didn’t even know he had shut them.

He tugged on her hand, pulling her closer. “I felt you.” He whispered to her, cheeks tinged red. “I heard you” she replied. “Through the bond.” She tapped her parabati rune as she spoke the words. 

Whatever they had now _become_ , Emma knew there was no going back from it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOAHH I've missed these two! Let me know what you thought with Comments/ Kudos please. I thrive off them!  
> Also - the next chapter is like striaght after this one as it was written all as one but was crazy long:)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Extract:  
> “Julian.” She began again, and tugged on his hand so they came to a halt outside the library. Julian spun around to face her and instantly crowded her against the wall, his body towering over hers. He pushed a piece of her stray blonde hair behind her ear and leant in “ I want to paint you” he muttered into it, his breath fanned over her lobe and neck and made her shudder.

Emma and Julian sat opposite one another in silence, the glow from her body making her seem like the Angel himself had kissed her skin. Julian slowly released her hand and moved to pull on his shirt. Emma retreated back to the headboard, outwardly upset at his decision to leave. Jules passed Emma her shirt silently. She pulled it on over her head, the soft cotton falling against her toned abdomen. 

“Jules…” Emma began but he cut her off, and pulled her by the hand up until she was stood before him. He opened the door silently, the darkness from the institute invaded her room and the scale of their destruction became apparent. He pulled her with him through the door, their bare feet tapping against the floor of the hallways. She felt for their connection, pulled at it to try and gain information about what on earth Julian was doing. “Julian.” She began again, and tugged on his hand so they came to a halt outside the library. Julian spun around to face her and instantly crowded her against the wall, his body towering over hers. He pushed a piece of her stray blonde hair behind her ear and leant in “ I want to paint you” he muttered into it, his breath fanned over her lobe and neck and made her shudder. 

****  
Julian had led them up to his private studio, the paintings off her still filled the room but were now pushed against the walls with blank canvas' and other paintings littered around. A large table stood in the middle covered in paints and easels that were still wet from his painting during the day. 

He shoved the door shut and maneuvered Emma so she sat atop the table, her legs apart so he could stand between them. He pushed her back amongst the paints, greens and reds tinting her hair as she led on a wet pallet. “Julian” she protested, but he shushed her. He ran his hand down her arm and along the sliver of skin exposed above her waistband. Emma sighed as he pressed a short kiss above her hipbone and pushed up her shirt so it sat just below her bra. 

She watched him move through his studio to collect all the paints he needed for his desired piece. He dipped his index and forefinger in the blue he had squeezed onto the new pallet and began to paint Emma’s stomach. 

The paint was cold and made Emma jerk on instinct, but he clamped a hand down on her shoulder “Canvas’ don’t usually move. It spoils the art.” He told her. She giggled in response and swatted at his hand, leaning up on her elbows “Well, Jules, why don’t you use a _real_ canvas then? And I thought you wanted to paint me, not _on_ me?” He shrugged in response. “This is more fun” he told her, smirking slightly. He pushed on her shoulder to lay flat on the table, and continued to paint on her stomach. 

The creation took him a while, but Emma was completely fascinated with his focus on _her_ and the painting he was creating. The lower on her stomach he got though, the more Emma twitched on the table- her hands moving and pressing into the old paint, coating her palms.

By the time he was done, Emma had herself created a concoction of colours and swirls on his arms from the paint she had been able to dip her hands into. He pulled her from the table and moved some of the canvas’ to reveal a dirty mirror on the wall. She gasped as she saw the picture in full. It was a painting of the sky above the institute – the top of the building peeked out from her waistband. It was a swirl of blue, black, brown and gleaming stars. She touched the star on her skin “to match your glow” he told her. She stared at the painting and decided it was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. The green from her wet hands joined the night sky he had created, but Emma was so happy she didn’t even care. 

She whirled to face him, pulling on the bond for him to understand just how _much_ this meant to her. The smile on his face told her he did. She reached up and cupped his cheeks; green and red paint smearing across his face and neck. Julian scrunched his nose at the sensation but didn’t protest. She kissed him then, and willed him to _feel_ the entirety of emotion coursing through her. She pulled back to haul her top over her head as Julian did the same. He pulled her to him and walked them back towards the table. 

Julian pressed his body into hers, the painting on her stomach rubbing onto his glowing skin. “We will ruin your painting.” She told him between kisses. He lead her back then and began to kiss his way down her body. “I don’t care.” He told her gruffly. She laughed at his blatant lust for her. 

Red and green paint ran through Julian’s hair as she tugged at it, and painted handprints would no doubt be left across his back. Julian placed a kiss above her belly button, and blue paint smeared onto his nose. Emma couldn’t _stand_ it any longer. 

“Please Jules” she moaned, arching off the hard surface. Julian tugged on her thighs, blue handprints wrapping round their circumference. She was pulled through paints and brushes and water pots so that her legs hung off the edge off the table as Julian removed her trousers. She lay in front of him in solely her underwear, with the night sky etched into her skin. He removed the last barrier between them then, pulling her underwear from her hips.

He knelt before her, and placed her legs over his strong shoulders. Emma tilted her head back and gripped the edge of the table as he kissed his way from her knee towards the apex of her thighs. With the first lick of his tongue she was set alight. Her skin burned with pleasure and light oozed form every pour of her body. Her hands tightened on the painted wood as she was brought closer to the edge of oblivion, her legs clamped tightly around his shoulders. He pinned his arm over her hips as she bowed up and off the table. A moan tugged from her lips as Emma’s climax shattered through her, splintering her consciousness into a thousand pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)))))))) I JUST LOVE THEM
> 
> Thank you for reading and sticking with me through this endless hiatus!  
> Comments and Kudos if you liked it would be sosososo appreciated:) 
> 
> PSA: I'm going to delete chapter 7 (my hiatus announcement) when i post the next chapter, that means the new chapter will be chapter 11 not 12 - make sure you check so you don't miss one:)

**Author's Note:**

> So, I have more planned for this! But I want to know if anyone actually wants me to continue? I really love writing Emma and Julian so I hope you guys do, I plan for this to become X rated in future chapters so just warning you now. P.s this is my first time writing for the shadowhunter universe to any tips appreciated:)  
> Also, other characters will be appearing in future chapters I promise! 
> 
> Leave a comment/kudos if you enjoy and want me to continue,  
> Thanks


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